Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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