so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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