It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
