Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
