People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
