I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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