I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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