Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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