Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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