Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
