dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize