No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
