I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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