Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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