On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
