Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize