I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
