We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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