Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
