stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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