oh god the rape fog is back!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
