and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
