Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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