My nipple is on Facebook.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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