In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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