remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How does one acquire holy water?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
