Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
