I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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