You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
