Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
