That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
kristin has been a bad kristin
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
