Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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