Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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