Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize