Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
