does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize