Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
