That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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