I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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