the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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