i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
