ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
