Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
