This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize