I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
