I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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