So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
