I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
