3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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