I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
