I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have already put on my inside pants.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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