dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
