Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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