Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
