at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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